Finding Light, even in the Darkest of Places...

Most of you have seen a pretty abrupt change in me in the last few months. And to be completely honest, if you would have asked me back in the fall if this is where I saw myself....I might have told you you were completely off your rocker. I was a wedding photographer. That is all I thought I wanted to do. And then, just like that.....I quit kidding myself, and made a change.

I didn't really tell anyone at first, it was slow, and pretty much testing the waters....but, each day, I got more intense, more excited, more passionate, and more clear about the exact path that I was supposed to be on. Slowly I started telling a few of my photographer friends about it. I have quite a few photographers that I am really close with, they are my biggest supporters, my biggest cheerleaders and some of my best friends. They kick me in the tail when they know I need it. They are my ear to vent to when something photography related has me frustrated and my husband just DOESN'T understand. We all bring something unique to the table. Some of them are super amazing newborn photographers, some are literally the BEST wedding photographers I know, some have been doing this a lot longer, or a lot shorter than me and they blow my stuff out of the water. Some of them have light and airy styles, some are more dark and moody like me. Some things are the same for us business wise. And yet, we are all different. One by one, I talked with them,( or they called me and told me to SPILL IT😂), and I realized that I have SO many people behind me. They have so much supported me while I have been finding myself, developing my style, and trying to find something that is undeniably me in this world of cookie cutter. Helped me start to develop a brand that hopefully at some point in the future will need no introduction, that the work will speak for itself, and that people will be able to point out just by my shooting style as a "Brynne Owen". That would be the coolest thing. This is truly a great community to be a part of. We all have those people that inspire us. All of my friends inspire me, and hopefully I them in some ways. Even if I am just the one they can call when they need to vent (Heyyyyy E!). They have listened to me cry, scream, flip out...but they also have made me laugh, take me on coffee dates, sometimes they just sit with me....not even talking about photography because we all need a mental break.

Most people don't realize all this about photographers. They don't realize that we are all friends, (for the most part...let's face it that I am not everyones cup of tea on a good day*shrug*), and that we all talk to one another. There are few people in this world that truly know what you are going through in life, when you are facing something hard. Something that you really don't wanna face because you know it will just cause unnecessary drama, a situation that won't change pretty much any way you approach it because people are people, somethings that are tough as a business owner, separating friendship and business (Man, that one is a HARD one.).....these are my sisters that support me through all these things. They keep me off the ledge. They read through RANT posts and tell me how great it is, but that I should just delete it and go on. They keep me sane. They make me laugh when I really need it. They take me to lunch and let me blow off steam when I am so frustrated that all I want to do is scream. They text me to check on me when they can tell I am in my own head. They message me to make sure I am good. And quite frankly, they help me resist the urge I always have to get a little tacky on Facebook from time to time....(don't act like you've never wanted to get tacky😂). And I am so thankful for them. So thankful for them. My friends. My sisters. My tribe. Trust me, you know who you are....especially over the last few weeks with my extra vent calls and text sessions. 

Don't get me wrong, I have friends basically in every aspects of my life, but these girls get me....and I say all that to say this.....

I am so happy that Kenzi has found her tribe in her Cheer Sisters. Her girls. Her people. I am so glad I got to use all of them to do a little fun project for myself to further my practicing on both shooting, and editing, as well as get to do something fun with them that we will have forever for them. They helped me bring something that I had been picturing in my mind for a very long time, to life. They are her listening ears, her support system, her sounding board....and I love listening to them talk. I love watching them laugh and joke and dance, and do muiscallys. I love watching them grow up together. Don't get me wrong, they fight like sisters sometimes...because, let's face it, there is SO MUCH SASS that I cannot even. And they all get it from their Momma's.  And I know the next thing I know they will be grown, and leaving for college...and I will be crying. But for now, I will enjoy this moment of chaos. And take it all in. Because, babies don't keep y'all.

Also, if you're in the Tyler area and are looking for a great home Cheer gym. Spirit of Tyler is our second home. We love our Hive, and SOT is the place to be! 

Writing from Neverland...

Y'all. For the last several weeks I have wondered if this is my real life. Have I really been having as much fun shooting as I have? Or was I going to wake up and it was all a dream?

Words cannot really express how I feel these days. Joyous. Excited. Passionate. Enthralled. They all seem to fall short of how I feel. Since the beginning of the year, and the time that I decided to start making my own destiny again....life has been so much brighter. 

"Stop doing things that don't make you happy."

Seriously. It really is that easy. And it is also really that hard. It's hard to turn down money when you know you are trying to pay for your big shiny new house, and your kids extracurricular activities, and all that extra mess. But, at the same time it is absolutely LIBERATING. There is so much power in the word "No." Not a malicious no...a no which really means yes. Yes to spending more time at home. Yes to being able to make ALL practices and games for my kids. Yes to going out of town for a competition and not having to worry about having to miss for a wedding. Yes to being present in my kids lives. My husband's life. Heck, even my dog's life. It's saying YES to being able to go to Sunday lunch at my Grandmother's to spend time with my family and not having to rush off. Sometimes these yes's are so much more important than the one that would be agreeing to do something that I didn't really want to. And, for once in about 5 years...I am finally in such a happy place. I am ridiculously enamored. 

It has and IS somewhat scary making a leap of faith. Taking your business into a whole new realm...deciding to do something that really isn't offered in this neck of the woods. Something different, and out of the box of the photographers in the area. Not better, or worse, just different. The photography community here in East Texas is strong, lots of amazing photographers, lots of beautiful artists. And every single one of them is different in one way or another. But, when you kinda lean in a whole new way....ie darker more moody edits, more colorful and rich than your peers....you worry people will not like what you have to offer. Worried that they will not book, and they will not like your work. Because, as much as we all preach that we don't care what people think about it, we still do...somewhere deep down. I love making art that speaks to me and makes me happy, but there's also an air of worry that people will not understand, or think it's terrible. All my photog friends know what I am talking about when we don't get validation through comments on our stuff! Don't lie, you know you feel the same way! 😂

I used to be a "prop snob". And I hid behind the "I think they cheapen the photograph" and "I think they take away from my subject" excuses for a long time. Well, those excuses are both valid...and they can both happen...however, props done RIGHT can make magic. In the best way. Don't get me wrong, I do still love a simple portrait. I love capturing those. But, I am glad I decided that because some photographers in the world think it's stupid to do themed minis, or use props, or edit like I have been, that I don't HAVE to follow their rules. They are meant to be broken, and sometimes they completely hold you back. Sometimes being crazy is way more fun.

So, I have spent a lot of time photographing my girls, my friends kids, and some people willing to take a chance lately. This time of year is kinda slow, and I am hoping that is the reason people don't want to do my fun Minis 😂 But, I have even ventured out into trying a lens that I said I would NEVER use for portrait photography, and called anyone who did CRAZY. And, I am literally obsessed. It has taken my shooting to the next level. And I am so glad I decided to do something that might not work, and let it work it's magic on me. Cheers to growing and learning as a photographer and an artist for the rest of 2018....I can't wait to see where I am in a year. 

And for making it that far....here are a few of my recent faves with my new fave lens....😍😍👍🏻

Comfort Zones...

So, most of you have read my posts over the past few weeks, and somewhat know what is going on and how things have changed around here. But, for those who have not, I figured I better share my story.

Let's rewind back to the end of 2017. 

I had become a stagnant photographer. One who didn't, and couldn't, get excited about pretty much anything session wise. I found myself in a place that was a very difficult one to be in. I was unhappy. "How did this happen? How did I get here?", I asked myself so. many. times. I didn't know. I had been doing this for so long that over the time I had become spread too thin, too bitter, too jaded, and too unhappy. I was super sad about it. I had been saying way too many "Yes's" to things that did not make me happy. To sessions I didn't want to take.. To weddings that kept me from my family on special days.. To people who didn't value MY time or MY work. 

Y'all, that is a really hard place to be. 

To feel like it's a job, and not a passion, is terrible. At one time I had loved it so much. And somehow, I ended up here. Sad. And Unhappy. And it was terrible.

So, being the person that I am....I started doing some thinking. Thinking about the direction I wanted my business to take, to where I wanted to go, to how I wanted to grow as an artist. My mind whirred nonstop for over a week. And then it came to me...it had been right in front of me for YEARS. I had been attempting to do it for my own kids, but failing because my time was filled with other people's special things. I wanted magic. I wanted whimsical. I wanted to CREATE that magic for other people and their kids that couldn't for themselves. I wanted to make memories that stood out from the photographers in my area that is overly saturated with photographers.

I started scheming. I started pushing some boundaries with Kenzi in the house. I started taking inspiration from things, and people, and movies that I found beautiful. And soon....I found myself happy. So, I kept pushing. I kept doing things so far our of my normal that I was afraid people would tell me that they didn't work. Or they sucked. Or that there was no way I could make money doing what I was doing. 

I started learning photoshop...like, REALLY learning photoshop. Can you believe that I have been doing this for the better part of 9 years, and I never really knew how to work it? Photographers have things called "Actions" these are things for photoshop that OTHER photographers make that we buy in order to try to achieve a certain look. I figured out which ones worked for me, and I have herded my images through them like cattle for years. I haven't even changed my workflow in the last five. I literally did the very same thing to every single image. But, if ever asked, there was NO WAY I could get that look without the action to do it for me. So, I pushed myself to learn. I am still learning. I watch teaching videos literally every day to make myself push further. I have made Kenzi dress up and come outside so I could practice. Which before about a month ago, I would have considered myself "above". I shouldn't have to practice because I have been doing this forever right? WRONG. 

Fast forward to the present....After nine years, I have started my business into a direction that for once *I* am happy with. I also understand that it may not make everyone happy. I will be saying No to the things that I don't want to do.. Which sometimes doesn't go over well. But, that's life right? I have spent the better part of my business life trying to keep everyone else happy. The best advice that I have ever heard, I heard in a workshop a few days ago...."Stop doing things that don't make you happy." That is profound for me. Is it really that easy?

My happy place is childhood. That magic. That wonder. That feeling that I get from seeing amazing images of my own kids. I want to give that to you. I want to step in and take more part in the planning of my sessions. I have started a stock studio wardrobe so that everyone can have these amazing outfits, and gowns, and dresses, and props to use to make your session unique. I don't want ordinary. I want EXTRAordinary. I want to give that to you. I will be specializing in children from here on out. That age where everything is possible and the magic is so real that you can feel it. My happy place is poofy, sparkly princess dresses, crowns, stars, vibrant rich colors, make believe. Those are the things that make me happy. So, that is what I will be doing. And hopefully people want to come along for the ride. 

I told y'all this wouldn't be the most eloquent blog you've ever read. I write like I think and like I talk...scatterbrained. But, I CAN promise I will always be real. Always. 

Let me give you some magic, let me help you plan a totally unique session to you. I am literally chomping at the bit to make magic. I love y'all..for real. I have always said that I have the best fans in the world, and I have always meant it. 

If you have made it this far....gold star. 

❤️B